THE MISSING BALL - - - - -

Sir, he has one ball missing.

What ?? An officer without balls. Not even a day old and having doubts already. You are too bloody young in the Army to be seeking such luxury.

(He was being Medically examined prior to the Court Martial. The rest of the comments he couldn't make head or tale of. In any case he was too nervous to think straight )

How did he get through the Medicals any way, wondered the Medical Officer aloud. Must have hidden facts he simultaneously concluded.

(He was trying to think hard. He had counted them both and so had the doctor in the Military Hospital during his medical examination, so what is this fuss about ? The conversation between him, the Company Commander and the Doctor was part of preliminary inquiry, which was as good as over. He was not only a 'Coward', he had also 'cheated' his way into the Army by concealing medical facts, the 'Board of Officers' had finally concluded.

I order Summary Court Martial to be held at 1600 Hr today, barked the Company Commander. Subedar Major, march him out.

The doctor was actually the Adjutant of the unit, an art graduate with no medical background (which explains the fantastic Medical diagnosis), The Company Cdr was actually the Regimental Medical Officer ( which explains the legal knowledge ) and the Subedar Major was the Unit 2^nd in Command which explains the detailed conspiracy. The newly commissioned officer had had a tough day. He had reached the unit having traveled eight hours in a 'One Ton'. He was ambushed enroute which he thought he had successfully fought all though the militants who were never seen were able to make a clean escape and hence the charge of 'Cowardice'. Now it seems in that melee, he had also dropped a ball.

The 2^nd Lieutenant who had joined the Unit after commissioning, with great hope, was in shock. The charge of 'Cowardice in the face of the enemy' was shameful enough; but the missing ball ?? Then what was it that he had felt just last night and which even now feels like one. But the 'Doctor' had checked and the 'Doctor' had concluded and recorded in the Medical history sheet. It was final. He had a ball missing.

The newly commissioned 2^nd Lt was Court Martialed at 1600 Hrs in ten minutes flat and punished with demotion in Rank for five years and was immediately demoted to rank of a Subedar Major !!! the next lower rank after 2^nd Lieutenant. The punishment was for 'Cowardice'. He was given benefit of doubt and had been dealt with leniently on the second charge. He would now have to report to the Military Hospital for further checkups.

The rest of the story is simple. The young 2^nd lieutenant (now demoted to a Subedar Major), on his way to Military Hospital was dismounted from the train and brought to the unit. He was given a warm welcome and promoted to the rank of a 2^nd Lieutenant once again and was permitted to join the elite family. The enemy that had ambushed him the previous day, joined him in the 'Dining in'. The question of the missing ball was never raised, and as if to vindicate the general belief, he continues to make it to the next rank with or without them.

He also commanded the unit he was Court Martialed in, the day he had joined it, and continues to rise high, not the least because of the less weight he has to carry.

MY BELOVED , AND MY WIFE'S - - - - - -

She was Sixteen then, and I was twenty six,

Born in seventy one, she was young and vibrant,

Actually for her community she was a little old.

I wasn't an adolescent either,

I was a young 'Lieutenant' than, and had always dreamt of some one like her, for a long time. I had a special affinity for her community. She was beautiful too, just as I had expected.

Hence the moment my 'Bua' took me to see 'Her' at the house of a Police Inspector where she had lived her life till then, It was 'love at first sight'. I said 'yes', instantly. Soon she was mine and we both seemed to be made for each other. I looked after her the way a lovelorn and smitten lover is expected to and she too was always there, by my side. I just had to 'desire' and she would be 'game'. Never 'letting me down', never saying 'no' and never 'tired'.

Soon it was time for her to meet my wife. My wife fell for her too, but some how 'She' didn't accept my wife fully. 'She' would once in a while stop 'cooperating' in the company of my wife. I would have to plead her, cajole her and only then she would move. Alone with me she would be in her elements. My wife loved her any way, more than me actually.

This has been the story till date. My wife looks after our home in the hills these days. I live alone. But I have not been able to part with 'Her'. We are still together. She is fine with me. But when my wife comes to visit me once in a while, she is still cut up, even after so many years of 'Cohabiting'. My wife calls 'Her' , her 'Saut', and with good reason. She just does not want to accompany her. My wife loves her nevertheless.

Offlate, my son too has been smitten by her charm. And I don,t blame him. He is a strapping young lad with 'desires'. And she 'despite her age' , still retains the 'charm' and the 'beauty' that has kept me and my wife in love with her, for such a long time.

We call her ' Combat Proven', because of the year she was born in,

'Nineteen Seventy One'.

She is my Seventy one model 'Royel Enfield' BULLET.

Some how and we just don't know why, when my wife rides pillion, she has to stop and refuse to move hence the 'Saut' tag by the dear wife who loves her more than me because of the beautiful moments we have spent together 'on' her, when she 'played up'.

There have been times when I have considered selling her off, but my wife 'Vetoes' the idea. I too am not keen actually. I just tease my wife once in a while for being in love with her 'Saut' more than me.

'Combat Proven' we love you.

We in the 'Olive Greens' are passionate people.

Love ke liye saala kuch bhi karega

Love chahe phir 'Desh' ke liye ho, 'Parivaar' ke liye yaa phir tere liye

my dear ' Combat Proven'

THE NIGHT RIDERS    -- -  -   -    -
 

Kya Sir, you can't even scare a 'Dog' off the road.

The Captain and the Major were in good mood. Next day was Sunday, and there was nothing to dampen the spirits. The idea was to go to a good 'Chinese' restaurant after an extended tenure in the Officer's Mess 'Bar'. The Capt had purchased a Royal Enfield 'Bullet' recently, and he took it quite literally. The name Bullet ie.

But today the Major had taken over the bike and the Capt was riding pillion and was most dissatisfied the way the Major  was underestimating his beloved 'Bullet'. The Major being the senior felt  more responsible, which the Captain was interpreting as 'Old age' even if the difference between the two was only three years.

 Sir , aise to, restaurant band ho jaayega.

Shut up, and sit quite. the Major snapped. I will make sure you don't sleep hungry.

It was then that they crossed the 'Dog' sprawled on the road, which refused to budge an inch even as the Major deftly avoided it.

Kya Sir, you can't even scare a 'Dog' off the road.

The unsolicited comment hurt the Major. He was after all the senior. There was no way this 'Kal kaa Baccha'  going to teach him any thing. Let  alone ride a 'Bullet'.

Chal  phir , Dikhaata  hoon  tujhe;

The bike was reversed and it passed the 'Dog' again which continued to ignore  them. After going about  hundred meters,  the Major reversed  the 'Bullet' and took off. The 'Dog' saw the Bullet charging straight at him. Some thing told him, it was different, this time. He saw the headlight coming straight at him and tried to get up in a hurry to save itself.

It was then that the Major and the Captain realized that the thing sprawled on the road was actually a  'Buffalo' and not a  'Dog'.  The extended tenure in the Bar had had its effect. And both our soldiers had ample time to ponder over it after the impact.

A few weeks actually.

 The 'Bullet' too spent a few weeks in the workshop in the mean time.

The 'Captain', The 'Major' and the 'Bullet' are all fine and rolling full throttle again. The Bar is vibrant again.

The Buffalo too continues to be sprawled on the road assured in belief that it would never be taken for a 'Dog' ever again.  

 

 

 

 

     

 

 

 

 

ALLAH and the HAWAN - - - - - - -

ALLAH and the HAWAN - - - - - - -

I was sitting in the second row amused at what was going on in front.

It was a 'Hawan' org at the Unit 'Mandir' to ward off bad luck which had made its presence felt in the form of a few Road accidents, and Fire incidents etc in quick succession. 'Pandit Ji' had stated that a 'Hawan' would do the trick and there we were all sitting and fighting the 'Evil'

It helps. This belief in allmighty, this faith, actually helps. There are situations which a 'Fauzi' faces which at times are so impossible, that faith in the almighty is the only anchor.

This situation was not all that impossible though, but there was no harm in taking precautions and enlisting the help of almighty by doing a 'Hawan'. The Unit's 'Second in Command', officiating as Commanding Officer was doing the 'Hawan' on behalf of the Unit. He was chanting 'Swaha' with Pandit Ji and doing the 'Aahuti of Desi Ghee' in the 'Hawan Kund' with utmost sincerity.

Nothing unusual one would say but there is one little detail required to be added here. The 2IC happened to be a devout Muslim and a five times a day 'Namazi', --- doing Hawan ? !!! I tried my level best to spot some discomfort but not once did I notice any thing in his actions, nor any self doubt. And on our part too, not once did I or others sitting around; ('Hindus,Sikhs by faith) feel any thing wrong or unusual about a Muslim leading the 'Yagya'. What is it about Army life that makes one so 'Secular' in practice that the religious concerns never interfere with human relations. I don't remember ever having been told any thing during my training to practice or not practice any particular way of life. So how does it happen that a 'Muslim' never feels any discomfort in doing a 'Hawan' and Hindus sitting around have no problems with it .

I was much junior in service and rank, but I and the 2IC, had very good relations and hence I could afford to take some liberties with him. After the 'Hawan' I told him, " Sir, Don't you feel you have taken a major 'Panga' with 'Allah' by doing 'Hawan'. You better have a good explanation ready when you meet 'Him' on 'Kayamat ke Din'. He laughed and said "I am sure one of your Millions of 'Hindu Gods' will stand up for me and put in a word. They all ( The Gods) stay together you see and will honor each others recommendations. There is only one thing I am worried about. I hope I don't meet 'Him' in the presence of 'Pandits' and 'Maulvis. Otherwise they will give such a twist that I will be deprived of 'Jannat' and the 'Hoors' which are there waiting for me, and I will be destined to burn in the fires of Hell for centuries"

No way Sir,

I must assure you that you and the likes of you have your place reserved in our hearts.

This is the 'Jannat' you will always get to live in.

The POW

The Prisoner of War - - - - - -

"Join the Army for a bright future, and I joined, lured by the promise. And now I am sleeping in a tent some where in Laddakh. The tent starts boiling during the day and freezes to minus temperatures in the nights. I have just completed my MBBS from Medical College Lucknow and some basic Military training. I am on my way to joining my parent unit. I have been told that we are close to the border and very often the Chinese patrols attack our patrols and also take some as POWs. In such an eventuality, if captured alive I am not suppose to give out any thing other than my name and my Number. What the hell do I know any way, that I will give out some thing. I am so scared that I don't remember my name also. And this stupid 'Sahayak' of mine always has some thing scary to tell. Just five minutes ago he has departed after telling me how last week one of our 'Patrol' had been ambushed and three persons taken POWs ( Prisoners of War). Dear 'Hanumanji' ab to tumhara hi sahara hai"

The promised bright future was no where in sight and the young Doctor was seriously contemplating going back to the not so bright future of Lucknow as a civilian once again.

Some time after the above thoughts crossed the mind of our young Military doctor, he was taken POW. As the events unfolded later the Young doctor, (in the true spirits of a well trained soldier) was able to make a clean escape from custody of the so called 'Chinese' and went missing.

The 'Sahayak' who was actually an Officer from the same Paltan, was in panic. So was the Unit of the young doctor. And the Chinese who were actually soldiers and officers of the sister battalion ( Gorkhas) from the same Brigade were in panic too, what with failing to keep an 'Indian doctor' secure in their custody. The Brigade was located on the 'Line of Control' and the young doctor having escaped from the custody did not know that he actually was in the danger of crossing over to the other side of the border not knowing where he was and what he was doing.

This spread an all round panic and many small teams were created to go and find the young officer before he actually handed himself to the 'neighbors' creating a diplomatic situation.

The young doctor was eventually located after a few hours, hungry and in panic. He wanted to shun the 'Bright future' that he had chosen for himself immediately and no amount of convincing helped. What happened to the other officers who had planned this grand reception for the young doctor, will be dealt with later some time. Suffices to say that the tables were turned on them suitably by the recruit.

The young doctor is a senior officer now and continues to serve the Army with pride.